Preserving Self-Worth in the Face of Unemployment

Genuine Interaction Always Wins

Born October 10th, 1982, my generation enjoyed awesome video games at home and at the arcades, slamming pogs and reading physical books, Along with many of these activities were more organic social interactions, as in not electronically represented on a screen. However, the Internet came along later and changed everything: physical books and video games are now purchased and ingested digitally. Also, pogs are long gone, replaced with Solitaire for Windows and World of Warcraft.

R.I.P

Despite these massive changes in how we interact with the world around us, some counterproductive societal ideals still endure. Much of this can be attributed to parents passing on their broken ideals to their children, thus perpetuating the cycle through untold generations.This phenomenon appears to be the reason why adults effectively marry an abusive parent or loved one, why poor children tend to become poor adults, and why children from broken homes tend to experience failed relationships later in life.

 

Where it All Started for Me

 

Growing up, I was actively and passively told by my parents to "get a job, any job" and that, once I found one that fit my abilities best (read "provides benefits"), to "hold onto that job until I retire". Their mentality and hearts were in the right place; what better way to build rapport and subject authority than to stay with the same company your entire adult life? Not to mention the ongoing and seemingly limitless opportunities for a raise, building your 401(k) to astronomical levels, and professional growth within the company!

Seems like the perfect formula for success, right? Sadly, no. It's a broken mentality that has begun to show its ugly obsolescence in recent times, and my generation seems to be suffering as a result.

In fact, many of my recent conversations with my parents and others from the Baby Boomer generation seem to follow this tired trajectory. Further, many of the ones that I've spoken with feel that the job-hopping tendencies of millennials is counterproductive to this end, forcing many of them to return home after failing to secure meaningful work and support themselves.

For me, getting a driver's license and paying for my own insurance became top priorities at the tender age of 15, when I applied for work at my local McDonald's. The manager was more than eager to take me on, and a loose grip on minor labor laws saw me occasionally working closing shifts past 1AM on school nights. I even got kicked out of my driver's education class once due to me passing out during lectures. I eventually secured my driver's license and held onto my fast food job, but now I was perpetually shackled to another grim reality of adulthood: paying bills.

Wow, this looks like fun!

 

My Wasted Time

 

Instead of hitting my school's career center or taking on a valuable apprenticeship to learn an actual skill, I was flipping burgers into the wee hours of the morning just to stay financially afloat. Even with me pulling extra hours, the minimum wage salary was only $5.15 at the time, and I would be lucky to have $20 leftover after each biweekly paycheck. I wanted to be able to celebrate my newfound independence, but never had the time or money to do so. I was literally broke and overworked with no end in sight.

In fact, this pattern continued on for the next twelve years: working 10+ hours a day for next to nothing, hardly getting any time off and even when I did, there would be no money left over after paying bills. Even worse, whenever I tried to break out of the fast food industry, I'd get shot down every single time. After a couple of years clawing up the career ladder to a managerial position, trying to get out of fast food (and foodservice in general) proved to be one of the most difficult things that I've ever done.

So what other tired axiom was tossed my way when I couldn't get out? Go to college!

 

In Student Debt We Trust

 

After securing my Bachelor's of Applied Science in Business Administration (through an online college, of course), I almost felt entitled to a high-paying job thanks to this broken mentality. Me and the other kids that I grew up with were all raised with the belief that once we go to college, we'd discover what our true passion is and after doggedly pursuing it, will permanently secure the job of our dreams until we retire on a fat pension.

So what did my 4+ years of college net me? Crippling student debt teetering towards six figures and some passive interview invitations that rarely led to anything meaningful. Most of these companies didn't even bother to call my alma mater to confirm my education, and invited me to an interview simply because I put it on my resume. For all they knew, I was just some random guy on the street that copied credentials out of a resume book, a la Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter is Dead.

On second thought, it did beat the alternative...

In the end, yes, I did learn some effective leadership concepts and history while attending college. However, it was through the pursuit of an unpaid, personal hobby that inspired me to change career trajectories towards marketing, specifically ones that involve creating online content like YouTube videos and local interest articles. Prior to these, I spent three years writing for various video game-centric websites under various personas, and even broke my years-long streak of foodservice jobs by finally getting a full-time spot with a local linkbuilding firm.

This couldn't have come at a better time, as I also became a father six years prior. Working dead end jobs while also trying to provide for my son became a living nightmare that I was grateful to escape. And just like with my parents' failed relationship patterns, I separated from my son's mother, stayed single for about a year, then entered into another long-term, co-habiting relationship for about 4 years until we finally got married. Sadly, this relationship recently ended in divorce, which was finalized the very same day that I lost the job that I worked so hard to get.

In fact, I was still in the parking lot of the courthouse after leaving work early when I got the call from my HR department! Adding a sad yet hilarious spin was that it all happened on a Monday. As if any of us needed another reason to hate Mondays, right?

 

How Things Work in the New World Order

 

Anyway, this isn't meant to be an article where I whine about how unfair life is or to paint a sad picture of me as a victim. Rather, this is an article to inform my fellow humans of the new world order. Gone are the days of wildly impressing a would-be employer into a fruitful lifelong collaboration or having a fat-paid job waiting for you at the end of a grueling and expensive run through college. This isn't the fault of millennials or baby boomers, but rather the financial needs of businesses and corporations in an uncertain economy.

No one likes to say it, but who's the more attractive candidate for a long-term position in the eyes of a business: the physically ailing but highly knowledgeable 70-year old, or the naive but enthusiastic 20-something? By hiring the latter, the company can withhold fair earnings and benefits longer than with a world savvy adult who's "been around the block a few times"; and if they have to let the poor sap go, the chances of them being sued for wrongful termination are less likely. Never mind the debilitating effects of unemployment endured by their former charge.  This can hinder their chances of breaking into a similar job with another company, which is sometimes further complicated by non-compete clauses prevalent in some industries.

The reason that unemployment is so debilitating is because of the power that we give it. It's like the Freddy Krueger of the workforce, robbing us of our sense of purpose. Throw in some crushing student debt, and you have a winning recipe for revolving poverty that never seems to end as it's passed on from generation to generation.

Credited here as Bad Employer #1

 Be the Hero of Your Own Story

 

Bottom line, as a society, we need to embrace a couple of hard truths: 1) this world owes us nothing, and 2) we determine our own level of self-worth. Think about it! If we believe in our own skillset, suddenly becoming unemployed wouldn't be as damaging. Instead of giving our sense of self-worth to companies who can't even keep themselves afloat and make bad decision after bad decision, why not take it back and own it? Why give them the power of yanking away everything that you've worked so hard for through a single bad review or undeserved pink slip?

Further, if we operate daily with the knowledge that this world owes us nothing, perhaps we'd think again about signing up for an expensive college degree that doesn't mean anything in the end. Why not take that time back in high school to not get some rinkydink job at the local burger shack, but rather take on some valuable apprenticeships? Perhaps network with like-minded individuals who can vouch for your accomplishments?

The somewhat crude ideal "it's not what you know, it's who you blow" doesn't have to be negative. With the growth of the Internet, actual human networking has become a thing of the past, reduced to so many characters on a screen. With so much of this digital oversaturation around us, high school is starting to look like the last real place to make a connection before being tossed out into the "real world" of life-robbing financial obligations.

 

Don't Let "Adulting" Get in the Way

 

If you're fully-grown and already neck deep in the muck like me, it's not the end of the world. Work towards your professional objectives in your spare time, even if it's occasionally uncomfortable. Even if you have only one hour to delegate towards personal pursuits, it's better than doing nothing at all. It's only impossible if you make it so.

And if you're stuck in some dead end job where your talents are not appreciated or the company is running themselves into the ground, don't give them the privilege of holding your self-worth in the palm of their hand; take it back and own it. If you continue to network and pursue your interests: 1) your passion will shine through, 2) you'll meet people along the way who share that passion, and 3) you can all vouch for and recommend each other in times of need.

Oh yeah, this still works, huh?

Think of it like this: what carries more value? The hollow, cut-and-paste recommendation of a former boss who never acknowledged your accomplishments when you actually worked for them, or the fact-filled and personally written letter of a former colleague? When you start thinking in terms of personal value and not merely professional position, your skills become more organic in the eyes of potential employers and makes you a more attractive candidate.

Remember, folks: this world owes you nothing, so take back what's yours and opt for more organic professional relationships that'll actually help, not hinder, you. And unless your employer is paying for it, ditch that college degree path for some real world experience; there's literally millions of others who have the same bad idea. 

Conrad Crisman is a writer and marketer who has fought too hard to lose his identity now, and encourages his fellow humans to believe in themselves as well. When he's not pontificating on the sometimes hilariously sad world around him, he can be found playing old video games or sharing a pizza with his son. You can find more of his work on Contently or hit him up on LinkedIn.