Stop Perpetuating Rape Culture
I read an article today where a father (who happens to be an influential blogger) wrote about his 5-year old daughter's recent experience with her school's dress code. Apparently, his 5-year old daughter was wearing a full-length dress with spaghetti straps and by the time she came home, her shoulders were covered and, inexplicably, had pants on underneath her dress. The school backed up their "rationale" with policy, stating that spaghetti straps are "against dress code policy".
The father, Jef Rouner, wrote a post for the Houston Press
that basically reiterated what we've always known about school dress codes, but never explicitly spelled out: they're targeted towards females. The same rules that state that Rouner's daughter could not wear spaghetti straps didn't technically apply to boys because "they don't sell boy clothes that do that". In essence, existing school dress code policies only target girls because "reasons".
that basically reiterated what we've always known about school dress codes, but never explicitly spelled out: they're targeted towards females. The same rules that state that Rouner's daughter could not wear spaghetti straps didn't technically apply to boys because "they don't sell boy clothes that do that". In essence, existing school dress code policies only target girls because "reasons".
As a father myself, I understand Rouner's struggle. I have an 8-year old son who's smart as a whip and has been through a lot for a little guy. His biological mother and I split right before his 2nd birthday, and I'm currently going through another divorce with another woman he looked up to as a mother figure. Believe me, it's for the best.
When my son was in 2nd grade, he became good friends with a neighbor girl who went to the same class he did. They would play together endlessly, and even joked about "getting married" someday. You know? Normal kid stuff! I even enjoyed it when she came over, as she was a really smart, funny little girl that always left my son with the biggest smile on his face when she'd go home for dinner.
However, I was not a big fan of her father. When we'd walk our kids to the bus stop, he lament to me the typical mindless drivel I've heard countless times before: "I'm gonna keep a shotgun by my door", "I don't know if I like **** hanging out with your kid" and "all boys are the same". It seemed that no matter how many times I would tell him that kids will be kids and that his daughter is in fact 6 years old, he continued thinking his toxic thoughts all the way to the moving van. It would seem that the pressure of his daughter hanging out with a kid the same age as his was too much for him.
It's fathers like this that make me sick. They're the ones who seem to engage in "slut shaming" and feel that it is their God-given duty to protect their daughter's purity at all costs, even at the expense of their daughter's dignity.
Just because something is considered "established" doesn't make it right. My goal as a father: to raise my son to respect all humans and do what I can to pass that simple credo onto other parents. Stop the slut-shaming and call it out when you see it. Your children are worth it.
Excerpt:
This is a story about a sundress that ended up being much more than just a sundress. Once upon a time, Jef Rouner’s daughter wore it to school. She once proudly wore it to church. It was long enough to completely cover her legs. At the end of the school day, her wardrobe had changed. Her shoulders were covered, with jeans slid under her dress. Spaghetti straps were against the rules, as it turns out, and the redundant jeans were her punishment. An accomplished author, the horrified father penned a blog post defending her honor and speaking truth to school dress code power. Jef took time to talk to me about what happened.
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